A blog by Nikki Dudley about the gaps in everyday life...


Friday, 15 November 2013

New poems Nov 15th 2013


Walk this way left
me: no write it's the way...
This is the way to
somewhere we know / darkness
could drown us but light
ex pose for 'us'. There's none
here, we pro missed nothing yet.
They expect everything
to be, too been no turn
him back because
no place is saved no world we made
is safer than the one
where? I lost the direct tonnes in his arms

“don't shoot”


cellmate, Word,
always in room(humming breathing farting).

When I was on the run, you ratted me out, then
testified my innocence. Do you                                 love me? I wanted
but you rolled over in bed / snored.

Dreaming about stabbing me when I closed my eyes?

You you you vowels and consonants ganging
in the shower, crowding like
hungry flies looking for death. Your eyes
 bulbous and wide,
slits of light in the darkness all

At once, What do you want from me? The bars
shrinking around my heart,                         for my own protection?
You wrote on the walls when I left you alone.

We never spoke
about it, Word. You disguised yourself so
I could send messages
to my family my friends, but you didn't
tell them how you watched me every
minute, minute, second, first, zero how
you whispered about me to the prisoners and guards.

Come on, Word, tell me why you coat my pillow
as my breathing                shallows and I drown in
restless dreams, why you hang over
my bed like clouds

in the morning let the dreams mourn me
waiting for
sunlight to break, why you told me she might live
and then told me she was dead, why you kept me
guarded between shelves but let them throw you
at me cowering beside lockers, why you taught me
I love you but a million ways to lose. Tell me
you they he she we all want to hear

The definition, The synonyms, The antonyms you're hiding
between your split ----- characters. Stop
talking about me, Word! This is your last warning, your final final warning,
before I close my eyes tight, block my ears with glue, and
tell my brain not to think of

But I will think of you, Word. I'll hold you tight when
all the lights
are off and
I'm shivering in the dark, when
I accidentally open my eyes and see
soft shapes and blurry light, when
my ears hum and
make dull sounds. I will speculate, Word,
and hunt for you in the trenches of my brain and when you pop your head up,



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