A blog by Nikki Dudley about the gaps in everyday life...


Friday, 15 November 2013

New poems Nov 15th 2013


Walk this way left
me: no write it's the way...
This is the way to
somewhere we know / darkness
could drown us but light
ex pose for 'us'. There's none
here, we pro missed nothing yet.
They expect everything
to be, too been no turn
him back because
no place is saved no world we made
is safer than the one
where? I lost the direct tonnes in his arms

“don't shoot”


cellmate, Word,
always in room(humming breathing farting).

When I was on the run, you ratted me out, then
testified my innocence. Do you                                 love me? I wanted
but you rolled over in bed / snored.

Dreaming about stabbing me when I closed my eyes?

You you you vowels and consonants ganging
in the shower, crowding like
hungry flies looking for death. Your eyes
 bulbous and wide,
slits of light in the darkness all

At once, What do you want from me? The bars
shrinking around my heart,                         for my own protection?
You wrote on the walls when I left you alone.

We never spoke
about it, Word. You disguised yourself so
I could send messages
to my family my friends, but you didn't
tell them how you watched me every
minute, minute, second, first, zero how
you whispered about me to the prisoners and guards.

Come on, Word, tell me why you coat my pillow
as my breathing                shallows and I drown in
restless dreams, why you hang over
my bed like clouds

in the morning let the dreams mourn me
waiting for
sunlight to break, why you told me she might live
and then told me she was dead, why you kept me
guarded between shelves but let them throw you
at me cowering beside lockers, why you taught me
I love you but a million ways to lose. Tell me
you they he she we all want to hear

The definition, The synonyms, The antonyms you're hiding
between your split ----- characters. Stop
talking about me, Word! This is your last warning, your final final warning,
before I close my eyes tight, block my ears with glue, and
tell my brain not to think of

But I will think of you, Word. I'll hold you tight when
all the lights
are off and
I'm shivering in the dark, when
I accidentally open my eyes and see
soft shapes and blurry light, when
my ears hum and
make dull sounds. I will speculate, Word,
and hunt for you in the trenches of my brain and when you pop your head up,


Tuesday, 1 October 2013

Project Tsunami blog

Hello all,

I have started a new blog dedictaed to my new teen / young adult novel, Project Tsunami. On the blog, there is going to be:

-Information about the novel
-A trailer about the novel
-Preview chapters

Here is the address: http://projecttsunami.wordpress.com/

And the blurb for the Project Tsunami:

What happens when society can’t fulfill the needs of the population? Project Tsunami.

Mati Hunter is sixteen in 2074 when she is conscripted as support staff for World War Four. Sent halfway across the world to Australia, she and her friends, Hiro and Jo, desperately try to survive in Sydney. Yet they quickly realise they are more than just ‘support staff’ and it isn’t long before they start to suspect something isn’t quite right. Why have they been given such limited resources? Why is there no one to support them if they need help? And why do the natural resources they have been sent to protect look virtually undamaged?

The answer comes after a run-in with the cold-hearted Colonel Wilson; they’ve been sent to Australia to die. They’re being sacrificed for ‘the greater good’. However, Mati and her friends aren’t willing to die that easily. Instead, they start a counter-war and Mati becomes increasingly important in a growing army of rebels.

The first in a three-part trilogy, Project Tsunami is the beginning of an epic battle to stay alive, in a world that has already signed their death certificates.

Sunday, 1 September 2013

Great editor of fiction and non-fiction

I have recently had my new teen/young adult novel edited by Morgen Bailey, an author and blogger. She has done a grand job and for a fair price. She edited well and also made suggestions and offered general thoughts about characters, plot and language. So if you're looking for someone to edit your novel in a professional and timely way, do visit her website: http://morgenbailey.wordpress.com/

She also does author interviews, spotlights, and there are opportunities for feedback from fellow authors. She is prolific on Twitter too: https://twitter.com/morgenwriteruk

Thanks Morgen!

Sunday, 28 July 2013

Six of my poems published by Walking Is Still Honest

Jeremiah Walton, who runs Nostrovia! Poetry, has published six of my poems as a 'Jog' on his new presses website, Walking Is Still Honest.

Do give it a visit, for my poetry and others!


Thursday, 11 July 2013

Two new poems

Hello all,

Sorry I've been a bit quiet for a while. I've been working on my young adult novel lots and gathering lots of feedback. More info on this to follow. But for now, here are two recent poems to keep you entertained. I hope you enjoy them x


Don't dye
yourself that colour, that grey cloud
where I can't find you.
Thunder and light ending have been
on the horror eye son for months and
months have been taunting.
Closer and Closer in the mirror like a crash chasing
me as I drive us
to someplace I don't know, back
in your brain, the tissue con tauts.
-Remember- where we need
to go to gather ourselves.
Don't die I tell you but the blood pores over you
like a lover. Stop the car


You remember how
once i knew i was new but not today.
Now i'm a shield of a per se, per-son-al-ly
I think
nothing will be better in the mourn innit.
Don't tell lies to ease ease ease me
like oil, i see them on the whites of
your eyes i can't trust
enough things. Won't make this bet her a pound to see if
she will come back if she could
but nothing will be better.
You remember                                 how i knew her
and you did too you did but now the oil stains

Wednesday, 5 June 2013

A few new poems

A few new poems I have done lately...


you said about home / the paper was
peeled / like a clementine I cudn’t put right

the past written  down. It sounded
pause-able but no, (your love) is a plunge pool that I
can’t love. A plunge pool and I
pot the white

in my heart. Objects may be                  closer
than they                                   appear.

I know, know fool me -
a poker bluff in a ski mask but

My eyes lost contact when
the camera refused / to be
eye for an I, it left (me (out (of 


Don't wasta page,         see!

Call me summit I'm don't and eye
won't stand / I'll

Words are everything and nought in,
juss speakin' in diff-a-rant ways because
'istory and pride.

Will eyes love winta again?
Freezing is over they said,
com pain non ship broken they said - I
feel nothing… So how can
I feel love.


Tell me Keats new summit.

Wednesday, 13 February 2013



Within the last year or so, I discovered a fantastic writer published by Melville House. The first of his Kemel Kayankaya series was only published in English in 2011 so I wasn't that late coming to the game. Unfortunately for me and for avid detective writer fans, the author, Jakob Arjouni, sadly passed away last month. Therefore, only one last novel from the series will be available from Melville House in September. 

I feel sad for the author himself and for the literary world, as I have really enjoyed his novels and I think he adds a lot to the detective fiction canon. I think he fits right in there with Raymond Chandler, Derek Raymond, and Dashiell Hammett, to name a few.

Now a little bit about the books and the protagonist. The books are set in Germany (Frankfurt) and feature a Turkish national detective who was adopted by German parents at a young age. The result is a smart-talking, fearless detective with a bit of a chip on his shoulder. It makes for a gritty and amusing read. The plots are all well-crafted and filled with a plethora of absorbing characters and plot twists. Of course, as with most detective figures, Kayankaya gets a real beating at times. However, it's quite realistic because if he does get a beating, his body doesn't always recover as quickly as other detectives do! 

I am still yet to read Kismet, the fourth installment. I'm saving it now because I don't want to have to wait ages to get the fifth one. Either way, it's sad to get to the end of the series, just as it's sad that Arjouni's life had to end so soon. I can't help thinking the world will have missed out on a few more classic novels. I can only hope Melville House or another great publisher will translate his other novels into English.

Please do check out Jakob Arjouni if you're a detective or crime writer fan. Much recommended!

The order of the series is: 

Happy Birthday, Turk!
More Beer
One Man, One Murder
Brother Kemel (to be released Sept 2013)

Wednesday, 16 January 2013

The Good Thief's Guide to Berlin REVIEW

The Good Thief's Guide to Berlin
Chris Ewan

4/5 stars

I was lucky enough to be given a review copy of this and I have to say, I'm looking forward to reading the rest of the Good Thief series! What struck me first was the chemistry between the characters, particularly Charlie and Victoria. Charlie Howard, the thief cum writer, is witty and likeable, drawing similarities with other hardboiled detectives that we all love (Sam Spade, Philip Marlowe, Kemel Kayankaya etc). Victoria is also a believable ally who challenges Charlie and displays an unusual ruthless streak due to the fact that she earns commission on Charlie's endeavours, whether criminal or not.

The Good Thief's Guide to Berlin provides a good mystery straight off. Charlie is half-heartedly enlisted to investigate a missing item which was stolen from the British Embassy in Berlin. However, the catch is, Charlie isn't allowed to know what he's looking for. What follows (without too many spoilers) is a tempestuous search, hampered by other interested parties muscling in, as well as threats to the safety of both Charlie and Victoria.

What I enjoyed about the novel was the sharp dialogue, the page-turning plot, and as I said before, the solid relationship between Charlie and Victoria. My only gripe might be that Charlie goes through a lot, albeit as it is with a lot of hardboiled novels, that sometimes you wonder just how many injuries the character can realistically withstand. However, it's a well-written novel with a rich bank of characters to draw on, which makes it an enjoyable ride. You know you're reading a good novel when you're interested in seeing the side characters and they have real stories behind them.
The retrieval of mystery item, which at first seems like it could be straightforward, soon becomes a complex and messy task, which has far-reaching and serious repercussions.

Much recommended and I will definitely be looking at Ewan's other novels.


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